Post Endurance Race Recovery Fuel

There are hundreds of products out there that claim to be the best recovery drink after such a physically demanding event. They spend millions to have some celebrity athlete push their goods but in the end do we really know if these things work? At Cycling Dumb and Team Bi-atch we use what has worked for drunk fraternity boys for years. The keg stand!! So get out there, ride 100 miles off road, have your buddies spin you up-side-down and chug away. It will taste great and rehydrate you but more importantly you will quickly not feel that pain anymore. Ride hard, be kind and remember its just bike racn'!!!

Look at this elite athlete

She was flying the next day

Top Secret Wilderness 101 training

1. Sleep 9+ hours while still needing to hit the snooze bar 3 times, drink lots of coffee, nap #1, blog, more coffee, nap #2
2. Silly fix gear intervals, like 30seconds on 3 times by 5 blah, blah, blah. You know some conventional anal "training" crap. But we Bi-acth's hate convention so...

3. After said intervals find some hills that you can really get rolling down on your fixie and practice your mad cool power slide skills action. The goal 270-300 degrees with out crashing in multiple directions. Ahh yeh!!! How will this help in the 101? It probably won't but it will hopefully impress the fixie riding hipster girly's!!! And why do we race, dah, meeting mad cool hipster girly's. Right?

So get out their fan!! Ride hard and smile.

*no stinking brakes are allowed on your fixie

Warning

Next Sat., the 19th of July, I am predicting a colossal explosion at approximately 12 PM. I predict the explosion shall be heard around the world. Don't be alarmed.

In the spirit of the Cycle-Dumb trained athlete, I signed up for the singlespeed race (8 AM) and the pro race (11 AM) at mt bike nationals. All year I've been planning on doing the SS race, and I shan't be deterred by such a silly thing as scheduling. harumph!
Rumor has it the SS race = 4 laps, and the pro race = TBD. Maybe 5? I hope I finish the SS race in time to stuff some Pringels and maybe some Nutter Butters down my gullet before the craziness of the pro race. gunnar and Goose both race at 8 AM on Sat., so send some good vibes towards Vermont next weekend. Please.
Then, Team Bi-Atch (we all subscribe to the CD training program) will pile in the car and drive down to Fairmont, WV to race on Sunday. Can't miss one of those WVMBAs, you know.

MALL WALKING!

Go to the mall with your grandma(or any love one) and do laps. Having her drop you between Sears and The Gap is rough but you can rally back because the company is priceless!!

And if you are good she will buy you ice cream!!

So get out there and do mall intervals with some one special and you just might get some ice cream too. May not make you fast on the bike but it is important!!

Yet another piece of training wisdom

Write a long race report for your team blog while its still sunny out yet with a chance of thunderstorms possibly. Hopefully it will start raining. Now you will have an excuse for not riding, thunder storms man!!! It works for me.

Race Proven Drink!

Goose and Nars raced the Short Track like that, and after the second lap they were strewn about on the course right after the G-out section.
Definitely gave us something to do whilst enduring the pain that is Short Track.

Here's one of the only shots of Nars looking happy the entire w/e-

Chris's great thought late in the day

New training regime includes eating dog food and huffing gas.

I don't know where it came from, but he's trying to drive home now.
Wish him luck...
I believe he needs it.

The Night Before...

The night before a double weekend of racing take a short lil' ride on your favorite off road short track course . Do not bring lights and preferably wear loose fitting street cloths. Look for a low hanging branch that is sturdy and secure. Ride fast and hit it hard enough with your head that you go flying backwards at least 10 feet from your bike. Pick the bark out of your head, look for blood and continue. You should have a nice headache. Ready to race you will be!!!

Never Train Again...

You will never have to train again ifn'
you race big-stupid-long races a lot.
During the week you can curl up with a good book or with your sweetie
and you won't have to worry about training. Yup, rest is the best!!

My choice is the the book. By choice or circumstance, hhmm?...shit

June was made for racing and sweltering

That's right.

So much racing that you don't have to train much.
So much heat that you're wishing that it would return to Spring or Fall.

All that bitchin' and moaning about the weather, the rain, the need for long rides, how your buddies and doing intervals, your buddies not being at the races, all that stuff.

Just look at the sort of thing we got planned here-
* Last w/e, wasn't June when we raced the Mohican, that's why at night it rained and we got scared. But we did race that long, kind of sloppy and turn filled race.
And were tired all week. Some of us are still trying to get over the odd cold, some are claiming to be getting one (I think it's the demon gender cause though...).
* June 7-8 24 Hours of Big Bear. We all got on teams, all hanging out at the Big Bear Penthouse Suites. Me and PP are on Duo Teams, Goose is on a 4-man Pro.
* June 14-15 Appalachian Classic. We got Short Track and TT on Sat. We also got the Weedhawks jamming that night. The the XC on Sunday. Camping out indeedie-doo.
* June 21-22 Davis Rock & Road. Some long stupid hill filled race on Sat. in Tucker County and then the WV State Championships on Sunday. Both long. Both hard.
* June 28-29 Kind of undecided. Maybe some Road racing action in OH both days on the way down to...
* July 1-3 Masters Road Nats. Road racing in Louisville, KY. Only I don't get to RR cause my RR is on the same day, right before the Tandum RR. So we're opting for the Tandum. Goose is going to be feeding us both.
* July 4-6 Barbour DeTour, then a decision, stay there or go down to St. Albans and do the Grand Prix. Not sure about Sunday.
* And the fun continues I'm sure, Pro Style cause Goose is going to be staying here for the extended Bi-atch Pro Tour.

So what do we do inbetween traveling and racing?
* We commute to Betsy's work.
* We ride at the UHS Short Track w/ Jackie, work on skillz.
* We do the Wednesday Hammer Ride unless it's cold and raining.
* Rinse repeat.

What else would you need to do?

Mental Relief = better racing and training

OBAMA has it locked down!! Things will get better, we will worry less and race better.

Well done sir and "Yes we can"!!

Thats it for today kids. Go ride with a clear head.

"Every things gonna be all right, now!"-Bob Marley

As always...
Get out there ride, have fun and ride some more. It is cathartic ya know...better then _______ I have heard!

Another lesson for the training log kids...

...get your pens out

After a hard weekend of racing and riding stay up really late watching inspirational Youtube clips. The next morning you should feel pretty shot. That night do it again, this time add some adult beverages to the mix. The next morning you should feel really shot and when you ride later you should feel completely awful. Yep...lets see how a third night will make me feel. Stay tuned!! Good results are plentiful for sure!!!

Recommendations:
Our very own Gunnar: http: //www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Of-y8iBBdY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWnff376PEI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKv8_iZRmYk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0AFpq6jFok&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2885aR6o6s

Pheromone effect to good results! Part 2

In order to work my original hypothesis out I have decided not to shower until after the Mohican100 which occurs in 4 days. If I do well, no showers until the season is over sometime in December. The Team Bi-atch spooning in the back of the team van should be fun this weekend!! I smell like roses already.

...I get the middle, yippeee!

Pheromone effect to good results!

As you know last December I broke my hand up pretty good. While in the cast I found it difficult to apply deodorant, now I never religiously wore it before so this isn’t all that crazy. So my experiment in training: I have gone, with the expectation of a few times, without wearing any deodorant for close to 6 months. Has this made me faster so now I am winning races, the pheromone effect or am I smelling so offensive the competition is staying clear and allowing me to win races? Add it to the journal kids!!!

Smell + pheromone= racing success

*Google it if you don't believe me

Yo...More sexy training knowledge...

"Rock, women (ie...sex) weaken legs" -Mickey (Rocky I)


Apparently its true!!

Be careful everyone. Its spring and time to bring sexy back...we have been warned!!! No McLovin' until cross natz are completed.

X-Rated Voyeurism Training Fun!!

Take out your training journals kids I have a few things for you to enter.

Find a stretch a road preferably with a slight incline. Do 3-4 30-45 sec intervals all out say 5 sets...good for the body and mind. Add to it a car with a couple getting their freak on... PRICELESS!!! Wave to said couple every time you pass... hilarious... them waving back every time... just brilliant!!!
Just when I thought DC was boring and uptight. Well add that to the journal kiddies it will surely make you fast or at least laugh and blush.

Hard intervals and a little Voyeurism make you fast it will!!

...I kind of feel dirty!!

P.S.from.D.S.-
Chris we need pics too don't forget.
It's your responsibility you know...

Guaranteed excuses

We here at Cycling Dumb training and Team Bi-atch like to have the excuses for poor race results plentiful and early. So ifn' you want a guaranteed list of excuses follow this training program the day before any race.

Official Stats-
71.5 Total Badass Miles
5.00 Total Honch Hours
14.4 Way high avg. speed
47.6 Top Speed of Bunny
49.2 Top Speed of Chris
+50 Top Speed of Nars
2 gajillion feet of climbing
"Riding the Storm Out" Ride song
3 Bitching Tans
(Thanks to the Team Bi-atch Blog)

Your finishing position may vary but your excuse('s) is guaranteed!!! And if you happen to do well you will have more fuel for the smack talk!!!!

As always....
Get out there ride, have fun and ride some more. It is cathartic ya know...better then _______ I have heard! I would not know though I ride my bike too much…damn it!!!

Make you strong!!!

Ride to and from bike races make you strong!!!!

What to have for holiday dinners?

We get that question a lot here at Cycle-Dumb.
And it's an important one too.

For our St. Patrick's Day Celebration we had a dinner consisting of-
Garlic Mashed Potatoes, 3/4 lb. each
Betsy supplemented her's with a small bowl of Raspberry Chocolate Chunk ice cream.
I supplemented mine with a small vessel of cheap Red wine.

Tried and trued here at C-D.
Luck O' the Irish to ya!

Bike riding and training things for the week of Feb 17-23

Team Bi-atch member Chris aka F*ckermans training schedule for Feb. 17-23

Sunday: 3hours on the fixie and it was crap out: tough guy conversion calculator 4hours- 2 beers

Monday: First I would like to thank all the US Presidents for all their hard work and contribution to the nation and society at large (except the current fella) and for the day off. I took off on the fixie but flatted about 10 minutes from home, so I turned around and rode home on the flat, grabbed the Redline Cross bike and did a 2.5 hour road ride. I added a few hill efforts for good measure and it was cold and rainy so tough guy conversion 3 hours.- No beer

Tuesday: 1h15min run with some plyometric thingies. I walked funny the next day so I must have done them right, right?-glass of wine ( I am one classy fella...um ladies!!!)

Wednesday: rest by choice- no beer but too much coffee. That gets the heart going right? Maybe I should wear a heart monitor when drinking coffee??

Thursday: CRAPPY OUT and I am a sissy so another day off but I had a great nap after work- No beer

Friday: I took the day off from school to get more work done to my teeth(but school was canceled because of the weather anyway, yippee!!!). You remember me talking about it, last April I face planted knocking out my grill. I will try to include a picture but director sportif sometimes censors us. Back to training: 1 hour trail run which was a whole lot of fun in the snow and I was so inspired by myself and since the roads weren’t too bad I jumped on the Redline and road almost 2 hours….STUD but no tough guy conversion!!!-2 Beers

Saturday: Well, with the race season nipping at our heels I feel as though I need to regain some structure back in my life. With the hand surgery and the cold days my focus has been a little out of wack. Sleeping to noon needs to stop so I decided to get up for the world famous 10am DC Rockcreek ride. Now I struggled to get up especially since I was up past 2am watching inspirational Youtube clips sent to me by our director sportif. I managed to schlep my butt out of bed by 9 am anyway so I could make the ride. It is only 5 minutes away from my apartment door. After I got the coffee brewing I opened the door and man was it ugly out. Some awful mix of rain, ice and snow, I thought about going back to bed, but I figured the BMW driving cyclist of DC would still arrive even though it was ugly out they seem to be a hardy bunch, boy I was mistaken. When I got there no one was around, heck!!! What a bunch sissies, time to move back to West “by god” Virginia were the men are men and the sheep run scared but they all ride in crappy weather. So what did I do? I did the 10am world famous DC Rockcreek ride alone in the rain, ice and snow: 5hours and almost 90 miles but I had gears so no fixie tough guy conversion but I get the tough guy ugly weather conversion points so 5.5 hours. – 3 beers

WEEKS TOTAL: 14 hours real time, 16 tough guy conversion hours, 7 beers(probably more), 1 glass of wine, lots of coffee,a whole lot of fun, snot rockets and smiles

Get out there ride, have fun and ride some more. It is cathartic ya know...better then _______ I have heard!

Training.....what!!!-revised part 2

A big thanks goes out to director sportif for correcting my training schedule start and stop days!

So I finished up with...

Thursday: 1 hour Valentine run with some plyometric thingies that make you walk funny the next day if done right-no beer

Friday: 2 hours on the fixie. Which if you convert into tough guy miles you get 3 hours-3 beers

Saturday: 3 hours on the fixie with some hill efforts. Tough guy conversion 4.5 hours-3 beers and a slice pizza after midnight

We did miss the start of the Tour of California. I believe director sportif is getting a little too old and his memory for dates is getting a little questionable.

I will tell you about all my exciting antics on the bike from this week next Sunday! So get out there and ride, have fun, smile and drink a beer.

Training... what??? Revisited

Brother Chris, et al,

The 15º commute in was not so bad.
What *was* bad was that my front brake left me (cable slip) and I went down the first hill, Willey, with out the rear brake (wasn't connected). Made for some excitement at the bottom for sure.
This is just one problem with the early morning commutes. And it's freakin' cold!

The rest of the ride was most enjoyable as cycling should be.

Sunday is not the beginning of the training week, not the beginning of the training period, not nothing.
Sunday is the end.
It is the culmination of the weeks work, what we look forward to the most, be it the long ride, the big race, the big booze fest afterwards, the end of the too-short weekend.
Monday starts the week. Sometimes it is w/ needed rest, sometimes it's just another day in the week of commute/training (as is the time now). Sometimes it's just Monday.

Hope that clears some things up.
Amen Brother.

Training.....what!!!-revised

The training week started on Sunday...oops 3.5 hours on the fixie its hip, its cool, its all the rage but I have fun on it and I don't wear Chuck Taylors and do wear a helmet... I ain't no hipster, I ain't no disco....

Training.....what!!!

Monday: business casual run, some plyometric thingies...1 beer

Tuesday: Ice Storm, no training but I thought about it....3 beers

Wednesday: more Ice storm, worked late, no training and did not think about it...2 beers with cute girl-Bunny would be happy

....more to come

Training.

Associate Betsy has been buggin' me about updating my blog, so here's an update.
Course I don't even think she knows about this one. It's so new, it's so fresh, it's so-so.

Training schedules, efforts, and maintenance vary from client/associate (they are one and the same), but with each and every step we strive to make sure that the client/associate (here on out known as c/a) are as happy and satisfied as possible. Cause a happy cyclist is a happy racer!

For c/a gunn4r and Betsy, the training is to be as follows for the month of February-

Monday through Friday

commute to and from work

Nars is to return home the extendo route when possible

Bunny is to return home the extendo route

gPS is to meet the good Dr. on her route home when possible

Any NIOSH employees should also supplement the weekly training w/ these programs available at the Wellness Center; Amazing Abs, Boot Camps, and the Lunch Time "hour" rides

Saturday

This is the day that the Fiend hath made for slight resting and spending more time w/ Jackie O.

Hiking, hiking, hiking. Up at Coops. Down to town. Down to Don D.'s saturday evening communal get together (to score food, beer, and mingle)

Sunday

The Sunday Baker's Ridge Ride. Ride there using the approved short-way-there route. Ride hard, have fun, go boonie-biking w/ the others. Drink beer post ride, socialize. Ride home the approved long-way-back route.

Remember to pack extra hat/ear protection, gloves, windbreaker, provisions, beer (the cheap variety).

Evenings

Go for longish hikes/walks w/ doggie across the way. Make sure she doesn't follow the deer too far. Make her run long and far for her sticks. Remember to have her bring one stick home to add to the pile at the front door.

Go. Fight. Spin.

Wow.

That sure is some awfully pretty background images.
It just looks so... nice.