Haiku Advice for Beginners, Part II

On Your First Day in Spandex:

Self-Conscious?  You Bet!

Our butts all feel humongous!

Worth it to ride bike.

On Spinning to Win:

Don't push big dumb gears.

Spin spin spin spin spin spin spin,

And then (maybe) WIN!

On Buying Expensive Equipment:

Everywhere you look,

Carbon this, carbon that.  But,

Engine matters more.  

Haiku Advice for Beginner Cyclists

On Crashing:

You will crash often.

Don't worry, we all do it.

You will ride again. 

On Staying in Your Chamois:

Stayed in kit all day.

Now I have severe crotch rot.

Learned my lesson.

On Riding with Underwear:

Say it ain't so!

Are those pantylines I see?

Never wear the undies.

Winter weight loss knowledge.

A vegetarian diet.

It limits bad eating choices. It is not cruel. It is greener. It is right!

You hear Pickle Boy?

Now get me a beer!