Home of Cycle-Dumb Training

Off season re-visited 010

2010-01-07T20:05:00.001-05:00

Not riding yet?
That's cool, me too.
Still need some fun.
Go run, run, run.
I know that's not that fun but it gets the job done.
Find a ledge and do some of those plyometric thingies these will certainly give you a nice tight bum.
Dizzy yet?
Do some more.
Vomit, good!
So repeat some.
Rubber legs you will have and feel real dumb.

Bye bye, peace and always have fun!

Ride outside..

2010-01-07T18:32:00.002-05:00

20 degrees and dark?

Forget to charge your batteries?

Still ride!!!!!!!!!!

We Do Dumb Things so You Don't Have To!

2009-04-29T18:41:00.006-04:00

Well folks, we here at CD really care about you, and that's why we strive to bring you the best advice possible. Additionally, we will occasionally try something really dumb just so you don't have to. In the current scenario, two experienced-at-doing-dumb-things Cylcle-Dumb athletes raced 100 miles sick. No, contrary to popular belief, it was not the swine flu that infected these athletes; it was just a regular run-of-the mill chest cold.

It was discovered by these two athletes that you really can't fake a hundred miler. One might be able to fake the first 50 miles or so, but after that, it becomes a Death March just to get one's burning chest and phlegm-filled orifices to the finish line. In fact, this trying experience even left one (normally fairly enthusiastic) athlete to proclaim she's done, she quits, no more racing ever again. (She has since decided she might be convinced otherwise).

Thus, the official CD advice is as follows: When faced with the common chest cold, feel free to race any distance up to and including 50 miles. Just don't venture beyond, unless you want to be left coughing up large UPhO's (unidentified phlemgy objects), and clinging to your little furry friends immediately after the fact.

Or,perhaps, just haggard and like you need a cookie.

Always be Drinking!

2009-02-10T16:43:00.002-05:00

It's always that time of year, but at the beginning of a new season we need to be reminded to be always drinking.

Bi-atches like to drink- coffee, beer, water.
Not always in that order, nor all three at once.

Starting today you should look at your drinking a little closer, and to aid you in this I've come up with this new Drinking Strategy-
1 coffee, 1 water.
1 beer, 1 water.
1 water, 1 coffee or beer.

Easy to remember.
Good way to drink lots and yet stay hydrated.
We here at C-D don't really think that beer and coffee should *regularly* be drunk together, though from time to time it does happen.

Now get out there and DRINK!

Time to start thinking

2009-02-10T16:19:00.002-05:00

I'm not exactly sure of just what.

Listening to Led Zeppelin?
Riding inside in a thong?
Enjoying the nice days when they crop up?
Suffering through the usual winter days?
Finding a new Unicorn Helmet?

Just look over there to your left and do *something*!

Still the off season?

2009-01-13T22:30:00.002-05:00

Haiku Advice for Beginners, Part II

2008-11-24T20:25:00.005-05:00

On Your First Day in Spandex:

Self-Conscious? You Bet!

Our butts all feel humongous!

Worth it to ride bike.

On Spinning to Win:

Don't push big dumb gears.

Spin spin spin spin spin spin spin,

And then (maybe) WIN!

On Buying Expensive Equipment:

Everywhere you look,

Carbon this, carbon that. But,

Engine matters more.

Haiku Advice for Beginner Cyclists

2008-11-10T18:56:00.002-05:00

On Crashing:

You will crash often.

Don't worry, we all do it.

You will ride again.

On Staying in Your Chamois:

Stayed in kit all day.

Now I have severe crotch rot.

Learned my lesson.

On Riding with Underwear:

Say it ain't so!

Are those pantylines I see?

Never wear the undies.

Winter weight loss knowledge.

2008-11-05T20:14:00.003-05:00

A vegetarian diet.

It limits bad eating choices. It is not cruel. It is greener. It is right!

You hear Pickle Boy?

Now get me a beer!

Ask Dr. PStupid, where to go bro?

2008-10-27T18:39:00.003-04:00

"Dearest Dr. PStupidness,

Do you always and only ride your cross bike at Marilla Park, or
wherever the next race is going to be held?
I don't ride, but I like to pretend and day-dream about it.

Thanks so much, Suzy Puch,

Pheel"

Well Fell,

That's a good question and what do you know, it's a timely one too!

Most folks don't just ride their Cross bikes in one locale. In fact
on our way around town on Sunday, me and Marzipan met up w/ K-B-J and
DonD, as they were trying to navigate their way around the course,
looking for the Death Climb, after going on the 9am (stupid early!!)
ride. We then rode around w/ them, showed them where the cool Beaver
was causing much mayhem down by MedExpress, then they parted and we
continued our ride.
Crossing around town.

On Saturday, we did this cool ride-
http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=66008
On Sunday, this one-
http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=66010

And tonight, we out did ourselves.

Back in the day we used to have a few courses around town. We'd ride
from course to course, also doing Cross style things (climbing steps,
running up yards, falling down over ledges, that sort of thing)
enroute and between them.
It was such fun.
So I finally mapped out a nice little practice course at the First Ward park-
http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=66013
And tonight, did that one, did some speed trail work behind South,
found a kick-arse loop at White Park for fast climbing work, and then
finished up w/ a lap of our World Famous UHS loop-
http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=66978

So next time we may invite some hearty souls along and do more or less.

Yes, it's dark Feel. But we use little acetylene lamps mounted on our
helmets and everything's fine.

Actually I have a NiteRider MiNewt X2 and Marzipan has a MiNewt USB+.
Fine really small helmet mountable lights. Really fine lights for the
money and what you need it for.
The USB+ is small enough to have both the light and battery on the helmet!
March on down to your favorite LBS and check them out.
Tell them PStupid sent you.

Not get back to stalking.

I have to go, my belly hurts from eating too much Corn Chowder too
quickly. Marzipan says I need to lay down...

Ask Dr. PStupid, more SNFU

2008-10-27T18:37:00.002-04:00

On Mon, Oct 20, 2008 at 10:58 AM, craig weimer wrote:
> I'm shielding my head and other, more delicate parts. I swear Dr. PStupid, I
> didn't mean to post that fragment- it was an accident- I'll do better. I
> promise.

Probably happened cause you were trying to ride your bike, and talk &
write into your iThing.
Just don't crash.

Reminds me of an SNFU song! (this month's Artist of the Month)
Drunk On A Bike-
It happened so fast
He didn't have time to think
Or maybe he had too much
a bit too much to drink
When he went riding off
into the bright sunshine
It turned out to be
the lights of a car

Can somebody help me please
Scrape this man up off the road
Can somebody help me please
I cannot do it on my own

As the police
were scarping him off the fender
A friend of his said
that he had been on a bender
and that he had a huge fight
Yeah, he had a fight with his wife
Then he got pissed off
Then rode off on his bike

He was drunk
He was drunk on a bike

Ask Dr. PStupid, hitting the fan

2008-10-27T18:36:00.001-04:00

Gadigga.
If anyone else writes all jumbled up, crammed and no caps they will
not get read nor answered.
PStupid has PSpoken.

"i have question for dr. stupid, who has have much comment about
course.this course will be pure cyclocross course, no? i read comments
about logs and jumps. no desire to bring my handmade dugasts into this
setting, eh? so, dr. stupid, this course would meet approval of
cyclocross founding fathers? uhhhhh... they would rise glass of uhhhh,
fermenting beverage up in praise of course purity no?very fast but
hard to ride fast, no?

svensmith321"

I have a more important question for you Mr. Svensmith321 Yahoo,

Why no capitals at the beginning of sentences?
Why everything mushed together into one hard to read paragraph?
Have you no patience or desire for things to look and flow nicely, or
at least make it more readable to the average schmoe?
Or are you sticking it to the man for making all those rules that you
hated so in Jr. High? Nice try but it's just not working there.
You're going to get crammed in your locker here too.
Or are you too busy? Vastly important busy.

Don't like my rules, too bad.

"this course will be pure cyclocross course, no?"
What is pure Cyclocross? Have you ever even been to a Cyclocross
race? Watching them on videos or YouTube does not count. Not even
close.
Are you too busy fiddling w/ your gadgets and reading in some forum to
come out to practice or some such?
Are you one of those dolts that go to any race and find fault w/ it?
Cyclocross is.
Marilla Cross is a fine course. It's a finer course cause it's what
we got and it's going to be a race. That makes it infinitely better
than postulating and pontificating on what it should or shouldn't be.
A few fine folk have put in time trying to develop a nice course. And
they have succeeded. Some other fine folks have come out to practice
and whatnot, to learn things and help test the course.

"i read comments about logs and jumps. no desire to bring my handmade
dugasts into this setting, eh?"
Logs were at Kelley Acres Cross-
http://albums.phanfare.com/5358348/2821661_3085585#imageID=49246939
There are no logs and jumps at Marilla. There are some scattered
roots and a few rocks.
Have your Dugast's ever been on grass/mud/dirt? I'm guessing not.
Dugasts would be a super fast tyre at Marilla. But you would know how
to ride them and what pressure to run first. And I'm guessing that
w/o checking w/ your inturdnet buddies you'd have no clue.
If I had Dugasts I would run them at Marilla. If I didn't, and I
don't, I would run the biggest good tyre I could find. Right now the
Hutchinson BullDogs are working very well.

"so, dr. stupid, this course would meet approval of cyclocross
founding fathers?"
The Cross founding fathers were riding around in parks and fields and
such on old beat road bikes with the biggest tyres they could find.
They were enjoying bumping around, riding their bikes in somewhat
unfamiliar situations. It was a way to stay warm in the colder
weather, it was a way to improve their bike handling skills, it was
yet another way to have fun on a bike.
It was a hoot.
Then they started racing, cause racing is fun.
Forward now to where too many folks get their Cross fix from video
feeds and forums. Not actually riding much and worrying that they
don't have the right equipment, when indeed, most of us have a bike
sufficient for Cross-riding fun.
Marilla Cross gets the Stamp of Approval because it is.

I would suspect that you might not meet the approval of the founding fathers.

"uhhhhh... they would rise glass of uhhhh, fermenting beverage up in
praise of course purity no?"
Is that like racial purity? Pure breed/designer dogs? Pure wankers?

"very fast but hard to ride fast, no?"
You should show up to a practice and see what it's about first.

See you out there.

Ask Dr. PStupid, staying up

2008-10-27T18:35:00.001-04:00

On Sat, Oct 11, 2008 at 2:53 AM, pheel wrote:
>
> Geezee Gunnar,
> Your burning up the internet with the mails.
> You can answer 2 a day, you ain't old yet.
> Oh well, if not, shucks then...

And you're burning the midnite oil for probably no good reason.

>
> Dr. Stupid,
> You got your Cannondale dialed in yet?

Yes and no.
The Pit bike hasn't been fiddled w/ for a week or two.
The SoBe colored one is still a work in progress. Swapped bars, but
haven't put on the new Rival stuff, cause I'm going to race the normal
race at IC Lite, but then taking gear-type stuff off so I can race the
SS class for the real IC race, as QBB, I and a few friends are on the
VisitPA/SoBe/Cannondale team. We're going to try and crush the True
North team from Canada, ain't right them taking home the $$ and glory.
Yes it's barely past 5:30am.
Gotta get rolling.
Hard being a CrossStar.

Ask Dr. PStupid, kewlness

2008-10-27T18:34:00.001-04:00

Ahh little-man-from-outer-space-that-some-contrive-to-be-a-religious-story,

I answer one question per day. Not one person/entity/thing gets to
ask one question per day.
You are as confused as those that think that about the story.

On Fri, Oct 10, 2008 at 8:23 PM, Evan T Williams II wrote:
> My daily question.

I will amuse you this once.

> Hot chix?
> Do they like cyclocross?

In some CityCenters they are known to hang w/ the Crossin' Crowd.
Now which Crossin' crowd are we talking?
Depends on where you hang.
In Motown the HotChix ride Cross. QBB, Traci, Lauri, etc.
Grrls, you wanna be Haut, ride/race Cross.

> Can I impress one by riding as you all in the trade seem to type "CX"?

"All"?
Where'd you get that idea white-man?
Some due, I haven't for a while here.
It matters not. Do as you please. Get some rest.

>
> et.

Do Good.
Don't eat critters.

Ask Dr. PStupid, pity the fool

2008-10-27T18:33:00.001-04:00

Hi Mr.TG,

"I pity the fool that doesn't eat my cereal."

One question per PStupid day.

On Fri, Oct 10, 2008 at 5:27 PM, craig weimer wrote:
> Dr. PStupid,
>
> 1) I am interested in racing cross bikes because I have heard there will be
> cowbells and offerings of libation at the tops of the hills during the CX
> race? Is this true?

It is at least partially true.
The Team Bi-atch & Cougar Fest! bus always has cowbells and usually
has at least two cans of libations.

At the bigger MetroSexual Races they usually have tons of cowbells,
sometimes giving them away, and usually there is fermented beverage
available. Either a free-standing keg, a full-on Euro-style Beer
tent, or just scads of fellow folks w/ their own drinks that are more
than happy to avail you of your need for drink.

At the Ed Sander Cross race, I was doing poorly and on the backside
they had PartyCentral. On the last lap they were wondering what I
would do, so I announced that I needed a beer. At the top of the
little rise some fellow friend had a Black & Tan gleefully waiting for
me, cracked open and everything.
"Not a sip, not a dribble, but the whole damn bottle." Joe J.
exclaimed as I downed the beverage and rode off to the finish line.

See you can both drink on the course and off.
But only if you've practiced these things. Which I have.
Thank the Lord Baby Bi-atch.

>
> 2) When you are coming down an steep grassy hill carpeted in acorn husks,
> and have to make a sharp turn around a tree and back up the the hill, what
> is the best weight distribution and braking strategy. Do you go mostly back
> brake? Do you go aggressive and put your weight forward and into the curve?
> Do you hang off the back? Do you lean your bike into it? Do you lean your
> body in but keep the bike upright? Just what is the best way to go fast and
> stay upright and out of the bushes on a course designed by West Virginia
> Hillbillies.

We're needing to do some more prep. work before our early morning
departure to Iron Cross, so I will answer this question in full when I
get back, or have some time.

For a hint-
Sometimes it's best to be off the bike, three-point contact style, in
to that corner. Then you are all ready to dismount fully and run up
the hill.
Now you can appreciate why I had you do those silly drills, and why I
encourage you do to more of them.
It is a good and useful skill to have.

See ya Mr. T.

Ask Dr. PStupid, what to bye

2008-10-27T18:32:00.001-04:00

> Dr. Stupid.....Should I get a LeMond Popad cross disc bike? Im here in Biden
> country De.
> and theres a LBS serving up one at a good price.......or is he ( LeMond)
> such an idiot I
> should just motor around on my trusty Schwinn Frazee cross bike.

That's a pretty good question actually.
I know of one person in Motown that had a Popad, but got rid of it
because of it's namesake being a jerk to our good friend Floyd.
Buying or not buying that bike isn't going to help or hinder Lemonade.
The company has been gotten rid of by Trek.
You'd be helping yourself by getting a decent byke for a good price
and you'd be helping that LBS by giving him money.
Some like the Popad, others have said that either the disc model or
the non-disc model has a wimpy fork or something. Ride the beast if
you can, lay on the front brake and see how she handles.
Discs are pretty cool but not entirely necessary, and illegal for some
Cross races.

What's wrong w/ the trusty Frazee machine?

If you do get the Lemonade you can always put cool Domo stickers on it.

But regardless, you should show up to at least a couple Cross
practices. There are a fine time and you might even learn something
useful (from someone else, not me).

> Da.
> et.

fone home.

Ask Dr. PStupid, snuck in there

2008-10-27T18:30:00.001-04:00

"Dr. Psytupid,
I'm a cool hipster, can I run SS in cross races?
Do I have to race in the grrls class for that?

What's with that Euro-style brake setup, is that kewl?

Dope-fish to ya,

EJ"
>>>
>>> Well EZ,
>>>
>>> More and more of the "fun" races are including SS classes, so it's a
>>> definite possibility.
>>> And in some conditions and some instances they might even be
>> preferred.
>>> Queen Bean Betsy actually has one of her Cannondales setup SS. It
>>> just works for her.
>>> But you don't get to class down or over just cause you're running
>> one
>>> gear. You run your class, if you have any.
>>>
>>> If you want to see a SS setup, you can come on over to Marilla Park
>>> around 5:30pm tonight.
>>> QBB might have hers and I will be running my SS Road machine set up
>>> for Cross action.
>>> Right now I'm running 38x19 for gearing. We'll see.
>>>
>>> If you come and have some questions, we'll try to accommodate your
>> and
>>> anyone else's shady ways. We can even teach your grandma to suck
>>> eggs.
>>>
>>> As for the brake question... That's another question, and I will try
>>> and answer it tomorrow, as the Happy Happy Joy Joy album needs
>> flipped
>>> and I gotta go.
>>>
>>> Cheese.
>>>

Ask Dr. PStupid, SNFU reference

2008-10-27T18:28:00.001-04:00

"dr, stupid, if I poop, should I wipe or wait?"

As my friends from SNFU say "Don't Swear Or You'll Catch No Fish"

If on the bike-
You though should wait, cause it's only gonna get worse.

Or as my old friends from BC (Kona riders)-
"Better check 'em. Better yet, just chuck 'em."

Bruce Spicer, Cindy Devine, and Chris ? rode for Kona.
Big Joe Buscombe rode for Brodie.
Boy we had some fun traveling from Mammoth, CA to Park City, UT...
I was just some hack Pro rider, but someone who was helping them knew
one of my buddies and they let me take along for a week and a half.
1992 it was.
Bruce had an old Toyota FJ40 named Bertha. Big Joe had a regular Toyo
PU. And we drove off into the desert...

Ask Dr. Stupid, the shite hits

2008-10-27T18:27:00.001-04:00

Sorry 'bout that folks,

Had Ren Hoek's lawyer hounding me all day yesterday.
So I had to change my name.

Hope this doesn't cause any confusion.

On to someone's only slightly ridiculous question-
"Dear Dr. (P)Stupid,

Does your bike need a flux capacitor to do that Middletown race?
Where can I get one?"

Well CZ,

You apparently thought that you had to have one to race, and since you
couldn't find one, decided not to race.
You missed a fine event! We had FauxBras, Cougar Fest, and kind of an
old school course-
http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=59131
You'll have to search elsewhere to find the FauxBras and Cougar Fest.

While the flux capacitor is illegal for USCF sanctioned races, it's
pretty much allowed at the other races that you'll find here, there,
and somewhere.

Like this w/e, Iron Cross!!!-
http://www.bikereg.com/events/register.asp?eventid=6654
Saturday is IC Lite, USCF hassled, so leave the fluxcy. off, but for
Iron Cross you can put it back on and "go like hell".

So what else is new?
Well I transferred the old Fort Uno into a SS Cross Demon Machine.
Put some newer bars on it, they call it "New Ergo" or "Compact" bend.
It's a large radius hook, that ends abruptly at the top where it
squares off. Very comfy with lots of places to put your hand. FSA
makes some, Bontrager calls it the VR bend, Control Tech may have one.
Slapped on some of those Cane Creek/Tektro levers that look kind of
like Campy or SRAM levers, and the whole setup feels quite a bit like
the Cannondale Cross Machines that we race on.
Put on some 700x30 Cross tyres and we had laying around the museum...
and promptly flatted going down the trail from Forest Ave. to the
Deckers Creek Rail-Trail.
30 is just not big enough when you're used to more.
Went over to Marilla to check it out and sure enough, it is not a
smooth ride at all w/ the tyres inflated enough to make certain that I
don't flat for the third time in two days...
I can run a larger tyre on that bike and I will.
Put a 38t front ring on it, so I'm running 38x19, which will just have
to be fine.

Uh oh, Stinky Wizzleteats is at the door.
I gotta go.

Ask Dr. Stupid, someone else thinks they're special

2008-10-27T18:26:00.000-04:00

Ack.

On Mon, Oct 6, 2008 at 11:16 AM, Robert Loehr wrote:
> A couple of additions to Dr. Stupid's post about cassettes from the
> Department of Bicycle Englineering department:
>
> Shimano/Sram 8, 9, and 10 speed cassettes all fit the same 8/9/10
> speed compatible freehub and will not fit on 7 speed cassette wheels
> (though there are a couple dura-ace 10 hubs and wheels and one
> ultegra 10 wheel that only accept 10 speed cassettes, and there was a
> dura-ace 8? speed standard that only lasted a year).

Well actually, that retarded Dura-Ace/Ultegra 10 speed wheel only
accepts "certain" 10 speed cassettes. Trust me, I have one...

>
> Campagnolo 9/10/11 speed cassettes all fit on the same 9/10/11 speed
> freehub body. 7/8 speed cassettes fit on the 7/8 speed body, which
> is totally different from the 9/10/11. And as Dr. S. pointed out,
> there was some wierdness mixed in there somewhere which doesn't need
> addressed here.

Course you could always run SRAMPAGMANO, like Jay-bo.
And never be quite sure how it's going to work; depending on weather,
time of day, who's in office, whether you shampooed or not.

>
> 29ers do a great flat-bar cx impression. And while you can put on any
> cross tires, most 29er mtb rims 700c, are too wide for a traditional
> 23-25c road tire. I wouldn't recommend running smaller than a 28c
> road tire on most rims.
>
> Also, in regards to a previous post, you don't have to put skinny
> tires or a rigid fork on your mtb to have fun racing cross. Just
> show up, ditch the bar-ends, and have fun. If you wanna get serious,
> then do all the mods. I'd say a better thing to do would be to raid
> the subterrainian bicycle museum and bat cave that is the shogrens'
> basement. I bet we could put together 10 or so ridable cross-like
> machines for public use if we tried hard.

I prefer to have folks get that "cross experience", but if you want to
bump and grind your way around the course, you are more than welcome
to.

I checked in the Subterranean Museum, and we could put 8 actual Cross
bikes together, two or six more that would suffice, i.e. older road
bikes that would work great enough as Cross bikes.
You were about spot on there Rolo.

Ask Dr. Stupid, something a little different today

2008-10-27T18:25:00.002-04:00

> Hey Dr. S
> you and the misses up for some cross this evening? Laurie and I
> are going to be in town and sure could use some schooling.
>
> Hairwolf

Daaah...

Me and the Queen Bean will be attending the hot and heavy Bike Board Meeting.
Shouldn't you be there too?
Gonna be a good one!

6:30pm, Public Safety Building.
Public and concerned citizens welcome.

Ask Dr. Stupid, from Bedrock

2008-10-27T18:23:00.001-04:00

> Dr. Stupid,
>
> Do road and mountain bike cassettes have the same spacing?
>
> Sincerely,
>
> FF

Well Mr. Flintstone,

I may need to put on my special cycling cap for this one, as it's both
an easy and potentially difficult question to answer.

A (Shimano, SRAM, etc.) 8 speed cassette has the same spacing between
the cogs, regardless of application. So do 9 speed and 10 speed.
Although the distance between cogs is different for 8,9,10 (amoungst
other things).
Campy may do some strange things, they're allowed, they are Italian
and God-like.
Prior to 8 speed, they did have different spacing between cogs, but it
was more based on Brand, i.e. Suntour, Shimano, Regina.

From 8 speed to 10 speed, the total width of the cassette is about the same.
Meaning you can put a fancy-dancy 10 speed cassette on an older 8 speed hub.
I just did it downstairs, just to make sure (and I needed to know myself).
Again, Campy is probably stupid... I mean different.

Doesn't mean that your 8 speed shifters are going to work w/ the 10
speed though.
AND, more importantly, not all road ders. are capable of handling the
large cogs typically found on a "mtb" cassette.

But...
Cassettes are cassettes. If you want to run an 11x23 on your mtb,
then you can, and if you want to run a 12x34 on your Carbon road
machine, then you can (w/ maybe a new der.).

A Road wheel has different spacing than a MTB wheel.
Road rr. wheel is 130mm from dropout to dropout.
MTB rr. wheel is 135mm.
http://www.sheldonbrown.com/frame-spacing.html

The only relevance there is that although you have a 29er wheel, and
the rim size is 700c as well. It will not (w/o frame spreading) fit
in your road frame.
And it's probably got a disc brake too.
This does mean that you *can* if you want, run some sweet cross tyres
(or any 700c road tyre) on that 29er of yours.

Course this can be more complicated too.
Different companies, different years, different speeds.
What a headache.

The good Doctor says to take two, fiddle w/ your bikes, and ride it in
the morning.

DrS.

Sheldon Brown calls it cold-setting-
http://www.sheldonbrown.com/frame-spacing.html
It's not Rocket Surgery, it's fiendRacing!

Dr. Stupid, Another Day

2008-10-27T18:22:00.001-04:00

Today's another day!!

"Dr. Stupid, I'm not made of cash and I don't want to sell my sister
just yet, can I use my road bike or mountain bike for Cross? What
about my dad's Hybrid?

Your pal,

Stiney"

Well Stiney,

You might try raiding your folks "secret" drawer, or nose around in
your sisters bedroom, or just sell some of your Beanie Babies.
If that fails then by all means you can race/play Cross on one of
those other bikes.

For the more Cross "experience" I would go with your road bike, unless
it's one of those fancy-schmancy ones w/ very little tyre clearance.
An old steel plain-Jane road frame works best. They general have
clearance for a 28-30c tyre, they "give" a bit, and they can be had
for cheap.
Put some lower gears up front.
With a traditional 130mm bolt-circle crank you can run a 38 and you'll
really not need anything larger than a 46.
If you're lucky enough to have a compact 110mm bolt-circle crank then
you can run a 34 which is very sweet and a 46.
Run what ever shifters you got; them lever-swingie-things, or on the
down-tube, or get "real" and use those Bar-Cons your Uncle left you in
the will.
Maybe go and check out some used old road bikes, heard Vlad at
PositiveSpin might have some.

If you *have* to use the MTB then you're gonna want to get ride of
some ballast, like that suspension fork. Also those big fluffy tyres
can hit the road, put on some 1.5s or smaller, they'll be fine. If
you're going to race and it's on of them there USCF ordeals you'll
have to huck the bar-ends too, those wacky officials don't like the
"poke somebody in the butt" devices.

Dad's Hybrid would probably work well, as they generally come w/
somewhat skinny 700c tyres. It'll be a little upright, but you can
fix that w/ a hammer or wrench. It'll also probably have lots of
gears, but since it's Dad's I'd just leave them alone and run what you
brung.
Get ride of the handlebar bag, the rack, and the orange flag though.

On any of these rides your saddle position should be the same as it
always is. You do measure and check that right? Good.
Your reach can be the same or shorter and the bar drop can be the same
or a bit less.
Other than that, the motor needs to be in the same place.

Now get out there, stop w/ your excuses Stiney, and don't forget my danish,

DrS.

Ask Dr. Stupid, the OG

2008-10-27T18:21:00.001-04:00

Today's Cross question is-
"What tyre pressure should I run?"

Well that's a good question. But it's more complicated than just a
single answer.
1) Run about as big a tyre as you can on your bike. 700x30 at least.
32-34 better. 25-27s are too small. Really. Decent for dirt road
rides, but that' about it.
2) Run as low as you can given the course and your heft. This isn't
road racing and low rolling resistence. It's about absorbing the
bumps and keeping the bike and wheels on the ground.
With clinchers you want to *really* not bottom out, but maybe come
close once per lap. With tubulars you can run really low pressure and
with big tubulars you can run stupid low pressure, if the course
dictates it.
Lower is faster on a true Cross course.
Average cyclist running a 700x35 tyre- 42 in the front, 45 in the
rear. Decent starting point, adjust accordingly.

Tomorrow I'll answer another, or make up one, or just go away.

Gary, I still have your mug w/ a sock soaking in beer.

DrS.

Ask Dr. PStupid

2008-10-27T17:59:00.001-04:00

> question... I have Mavic Ksyrium SL wheels on my road bike... should
> i take them off and use junkie wheels when using the trainer?

So you want to ride the trainer, indoors type training as opposed to
riding outside which we Bi-atches really prefer...

You won't burn up your wheels that badly on the trainer, but you will
burn up your tires. Put some cheapies on. You might bung up those fancy skewers depending on how the trainer mounts.
Ha ha, "ride the trainer", "how the trainer mounts". You ask MikeY about all that!

Do you have another set of wheels?
They call the Ksyrium's "race" wheels. You shouldn't "train" on them.
You should have a set of training wheels.

Better yet is to ride your "whatever" bike w/ the training wheels on outside.
"It's always better Outside." I think I should sell that to iPlayOutside...

NBC

2008-10-27T17:57:00.000-04:00

Nothing But Cross.

It's how we roll.
And believe you me, sometimes I'd rather be riding my MTB SS in the peaceful woods some, but it is not to be.
Besides there are knuckleheads w/ guns out in the woods.

NBC.

Testimonial

2008-09-05T20:56:00.000-04:00

Folks, we have our first testimonial to the effectiveness of the CycleDumb Training program!!! Check it out, here.

If you have a testimonial you would like to share, feel free to email us!

Post Endurance Race Recovery Fuel

2008-07-31T10:25:00.000-04:00

There are hundreds of products out there that claim to be the best recovery drink after such a physically demanding event. They spend millions to have some celebrity athlete push their goods but in the end do we really know if these things work? At Cycling Dumb and Team Bi-atch we use what has worked for drunk fraternity boys for years. The keg stand!! So get out there, ride 100 miles off road, have your buddies spin you up-side-down and chug away. It will taste great and rehydrate you but more importantly you will quickly not feel that pain anymore. Ride hard, be kind and remember its just bike racn'!!!

Look at this elite athlete

She was flying the next day

Top Secret Wilderness 101 training

2008-07-24T19:56:00.000-04:00

1. Sleep 9+ hours while still needing to hit the snooze bar 3 times, drink lots of coffee, nap #1, blog, more coffee, nap #2
2. Silly fix gear intervals, like 30seconds on 3 times by 5 blah, blah, blah. You know some conventional anal "training" crap. But we Bi-acth's hate convention so...

3. After said intervals find some hills that you can really get rolling down on your fixie and practice your mad cool power slide skills action. The goal 270-300 degrees with out crashing in multiple directions. Ahh yeh!!! How will this help in the 101? It probably won't but it will hopefully impress the fixie riding hipster girly's!!! And why do we race, dah, meeting mad cool hipster girly's. Right?

So get out their fan!! Ride hard and smile.

*no stinking brakes are allowed on your fixie

Warning

2008-07-12T09:46:00.000-04:00

Next Sat., the 19th of July, I am predicting a colossal explosion at approximately 12 PM. I predict the explosion shall be heard around the world. Don't be alarmed.

In the spirit of the Cycle-Dumb trained athlete, I signed up for the singlespeed race (8 AM) and the pro race (11 AM) at mt bike nationals. All year I've been planning on doing the SS race, and I shan't be deterred by such a silly thing as scheduling. harumph!
Rumor has it the SS race = 4 laps, and the pro race = TBD. Maybe 5? I hope I finish the SS race in time to stuff some Pringels and maybe some Nutter Butters down my gullet before the craziness of the pro race. gunnar and Goose both race at 8 AM on Sat., so send some good vibes towards Vermont next weekend. Please.
Then, Team Bi-Atch (we all subscribe to the CD training program) will pile in the car and drive down to Fairmont, WV to race on Sunday. Can't miss one of those WVMBAs, you know.

MALL WALKING!

2008-06-28T11:02:00.000-04:00

Go to the mall with your grandma(or any love one) and do laps. Having her drop you between Sears and The Gap is rough but you can rally back because the company is priceless!!

And if you are good she will buy you ice cream!!

So get out there and do mall intervals with some one special and you just might get some ice cream too. May not make you fast on the bike but it is important!!

Yet another piece of training wisdom

2008-06-18T19:30:00.001-04:00

Write a long race report for your team blog while its still sunny out yet with a chance of thunderstorms possibly. Hopefully it will start raining. Now you will have an excuse for not riding, thunder storms man!!! It works for me.

Race Proven Drink!

2008-06-16T23:16:00.000-04:00

Goose and Nars raced the Short Track like that, and after the second lap they were strewn about on the course right after the G-out section.
Definitely gave us something to do whilst enduring the pain that is Short Track.

Here's one of the only shots of Nars looking happy the entire w/e-

Chris's great thought late in the day

2008-06-15T22:27:00.000-04:00

New training regime includes eating dog food and huffing gas.

I don't know where it came from, but he's trying to drive home now.
Wish him luck...
I believe he needs it.

The Night Before...

2008-06-14T09:51:00.000-04:00

The night before a double weekend of racing take a short lil' ride on your favorite off road short track course . Do not bring lights and preferably wear loose fitting street cloths. Look for a low hanging branch that is sturdy and secure. Ride fast and hit it hard enough with your head that you go flying backwards at least 10 feet from your bike. Pick the bark out of your head, look for blood and continue. You should have a nice headache. Ready to race you will be!!!

Never Train Again...

2008-06-11T16:34:00.001-04:00

You will never have to train again ifn'
you race big-stupid-long races a lot.
During the week you can curl up with a good book or with your sweetie
and you won't have to worry about training. Yup, rest is the best!!

My choice is the the book. By choice or circumstance, hhmm?...shit

June was made for racing and sweltering

2008-06-06T12:06:00.000-04:00

That's right.

So much racing that you don't have to train much.
So much heat that you're wishing that it would return to Spring or Fall.

All that bitchin' and moaning about the weather, the rain, the need for long rides, how your buddies and doing intervals, your buddies not being at the races, all that stuff.

Just look at the sort of thing we got planned here-
* Last w/e, wasn't June when we raced the Mohican, that's why at night it rained and we got scared. But we did race that long, kind of sloppy and turn filled race.
And were tired all week. Some of us are still trying to get over the odd cold, some are claiming to be getting one (I think it's the demon gender cause though...).
* June 7-8 24 Hours of Big Bear. We all got on teams, all hanging out at the Big Bear Penthouse Suites. Me and PP are on Duo Teams, Goose is on a 4-man Pro.
* June 14-15 Appalachian Classic. We got Short Track and TT on Sat. We also got the Weedhawks jamming that night. The the XC on Sunday. Camping out indeedie-doo.
* June 21-22 Davis Rock & Road. Some long stupid hill filled race on Sat. in Tucker County and then the WV State Championships on Sunday. Both long. Both hard.
* June 28-29 Kind of undecided. Maybe some Road racing action in OH both days on the way down to...
* July 1-3 Masters Road Nats. Road racing in Louisville, KY. Only I don't get to RR cause my RR is on the same day, right before the Tandum RR. So we're opting for the Tandum. Goose is going to be feeding us both.
* July 4-6 Barbour DeTour, then a decision, stay there or go down to St. Albans and do the Grand Prix. Not sure about Sunday.
* And the fun continues I'm sure, Pro Style cause Goose is going to be staying here for the extended Bi-atch Pro Tour.

So what do we do inbetween traveling and racing?
* We commute to Betsy's work.
* We ride at the UHS Short Track w/ Jackie, work on skillz.
* We do the Wednesday Hammer Ride unless it's cold and raining.
* Rinse repeat.

What else would you need to do?

Mental Relief = better racing and training

2008-06-03T19:47:00.000-04:00

OBAMA has it locked down!! Things will get better, we will worry less and race better.

Well done sir and "Yes we can"!!

Thats it for today kids. Go ride with a clear head.

"Every things gonna be all right, now!"-Bob Marley

As always...
Get out there ride, have fun and ride some more. It is cathartic ya know...better then _______ I have heard!

Another lesson for the training log kids...

2008-05-28T22:21:00.000-04:00

...get your pens out

After a hard weekend of racing and riding stay up really late watching inspirational Youtube clips. The next morning you should feel pretty shot. That night do it again, this time add some adult beverages to the mix. The next morning you should feel really shot and when you ride later you should feel completely awful. Yep...lets see how a third night will make me feel. Stay tuned!! Good results are plentiful for sure!!!

Recommendations:
Our very own Gunnar: http: //www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Of-y8iBBdY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWnff376PEI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKv8_iZRmYk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0AFpq6jFok&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2885aR6o6s

Pheromone effect to good results! Part 2

2008-05-28T22:17:00.000-04:00

In order to work my original hypothesis out I have decided not to shower until after the Mohican100 which occurs in 4 days. If I do well, no showers until the season is over sometime in December. The Team Bi-atch spooning in the back of the team van should be fun this weekend!! I smell like roses already.

...I get the middle, yippeee!

Pheromone effect to good results!

2008-05-28T00:31:00.000-04:00

As you know last December I broke my hand up pretty good. While in the cast I found it difficult to apply deodorant, now I never religiously wore it before so this isn’t all that crazy. So my experiment in training: I have gone, with the expectation of a few times, without wearing any deodorant for close to 6 months. Has this made me faster so now I am winning races, the pheromone effect or am I smelling so offensive the competition is staying clear and allowing me to win races? Add it to the journal kids!!!

Smell + pheromone= racing success

*Google it if you don't believe me

Yo...More sexy training knowledge...

2008-05-27T19:29:00.000-04:00

"Rock, women (ie...sex) weaken legs" -Mickey (Rocky I)

Apparently its true!!

Be careful everyone. Its spring and time to bring sexy back...we have been warned!!! No McLovin' until cross natz are completed.

X-Rated Voyeurism Training Fun!!

2008-05-21T19:54:00.001-04:00

Take out your training journals kids I have a few things for you to enter.

Find a stretch a road preferably with a slight incline. Do 3-4 30-45 sec intervals all out say 5 sets...good for the body and mind. Add to it a car with a couple getting their freak on... PRICELESS!!! Wave to said couple every time you pass... hilarious... them waving back every time... just brilliant!!!
Just when I thought DC was boring and uptight. Well add that to the journal kiddies it will surely make you fast or at least laugh and blush.

Hard intervals and a little Voyeurism make you fast it will!!

...I kind of feel dirty!!

P.S.from.D.S.-
Chris we need pics too don't forget.
It's your responsibility you know...

Guaranteed excuses

2008-04-21T17:49:00.000-04:00

We here at Cycling Dumb training and Team Bi-atch like to have the excuses for poor race results plentiful and early. So ifn' you want a guaranteed list of excuses follow this training program the day before any race.

Official Stats-
71.5 Total Badass Miles
5.00 Total Honch Hours
14.4 Way high avg. speed
47.6 Top Speed of Bunny
49.2 Top Speed of Chris
+50 Top Speed of Nars
2 gajillion feet of climbing
"Riding the Storm Out" Ride song
3 Bitching Tans
(Thanks to the Team Bi-atch Blog)

Your finishing position may vary but your excuse('s) is guaranteed!!! And if you happen to do well you will have more fuel for the smack talk!!!!

As always....
Get out there ride, have fun and ride some more. It is cathartic ya know...better then _______ I have heard! I would not know though I ride my bike too much…damn it!!!

Make you strong!!!

2008-04-06T20:59:00.000-04:00

Ride to and from bike races make you strong!!!!

What to have for holiday dinners?

2008-03-17T21:42:00.001-04:00

We get that question a lot here at Cycle-Dumb.
And it's an important one too.

For our St. Patrick's Day Celebration we had a dinner consisting of-
Garlic Mashed Potatoes, 3/4 lb. each
Betsy supplemented her's with a small bowl of Raspberry Chocolate Chunk ice cream.
I supplemented mine with a small vessel of cheap Red wine.

Tried and trued here at C-D.
Luck O' the Irish to ya!

Bike riding and training things for the week of Feb 17-23

2008-02-24T22:42:00.000-05:00

Team Bi-atch member Chris aka F*ckermans training schedule for Feb. 17-23

Sunday: 3hours on the fixie and it was crap out: tough guy conversion calculator 4hours- 2 beers

Monday: First I would like to thank all the US Presidents for all their hard work and contribution to the nation and society at large (except the current fella) and for the day off. I took off on the fixie but flatted about 10 minutes from home, so I turned around and rode home on the flat, grabbed the Redline Cross bike and did a 2.5 hour road ride. I added a few hill efforts for good measure and it was cold and rainy so tough guy conversion 3 hours.- No beer

Tuesday: 1h15min run with some plyometric thingies. I walked funny the next day so I must have done them right, right?-glass of wine ( I am one classy fella...um ladies!!!)

Wednesday: rest by choice- no beer but too much coffee. That gets the heart going right? Maybe I should wear a heart monitor when drinking coffee??

Thursday: CRAPPY OUT and I am a sissy so another day off but I had a great nap after work- No beer

Friday: I took the day off from school to get more work done to my teeth(but school was canceled because of the weather anyway, yippee!!!). You remember me talking about it, last April I face planted knocking out my grill. I will try to include a picture but director sportif sometimes censors us. Back to training: 1 hour trail run which was a whole lot of fun in the snow and I was so inspired by myself and since the roads weren’t too bad I jumped on the Redline and road almost 2 hours….STUD but no tough guy conversion!!!-2 Beers

Saturday: Well, with the race season nipping at our heels I feel as though I need to regain some structure back in my life. With the hand surgery and the cold days my focus has been a little out of wack. Sleeping to noon needs to stop so I decided to get up for the world famous 10am DC Rockcreek ride. Now I struggled to get up especially since I was up past 2am watching inspirational Youtube clips sent to me by our director sportif. I managed to schlep my butt out of bed by 9 am anyway so I could make the ride. It is only 5 minutes away from my apartment door. After I got the coffee brewing I opened the door and man was it ugly out. Some awful mix of rain, ice and snow, I thought about going back to bed, but I figured the BMW driving cyclist of DC would still arrive even though it was ugly out they seem to be a hardy bunch, boy I was mistaken. When I got there no one was around, heck!!! What a bunch sissies, time to move back to West “by god” Virginia were the men are men and the sheep run scared but they all ride in crappy weather. So what did I do? I did the 10am world famous DC Rockcreek ride alone in the rain, ice and snow: 5hours and almost 90 miles but I had gears so no fixie tough guy conversion but I get the tough guy ugly weather conversion points so 5.5 hours. – 3 beers

WEEKS TOTAL: 14 hours real time, 16 tough guy conversion hours, 7 beers(probably more), 1 glass of wine, lots of coffee,a whole lot of fun, snot rockets and smiles

Get out there ride, have fun and ride some more. It is cathartic ya know...better then _______ I have heard!

Training.....what!!!-revised part 2

2008-02-17T19:58:00.000-05:00

A big thanks goes out to director sportif for correcting my training schedule start and stop days!

So I finished up with...

Thursday: 1 hour Valentine run with some plyometric thingies that make you walk funny the next day if done right-no beer

Friday: 2 hours on the fixie. Which if you convert into tough guy miles you get 3 hours-3 beers

Saturday: 3 hours on the fixie with some hill efforts. Tough guy conversion 4.5 hours-3 beers and a slice pizza after midnight

We did miss the start of the Tour of California. I believe director sportif is getting a little too old and his memory for dates is getting a little questionable.

I will tell you about all my exciting antics on the bike from this week next Sunday! So get out there and ride, have fun, smile and drink a beer.

Training... what??? Revisited

2008-02-14T09:21:00.000-05:00

Brother Chris, et al,

The 15º commute in was not so bad.
What *was* bad was that my front brake left me (cable slip) and I went down the first hill, Willey, with out the rear brake (wasn't connected). Made for some excitement at the bottom for sure.
This is just one problem with the early morning commutes. And it's freakin' cold!

The rest of the ride was most enjoyable as cycling should be.

Sunday is not the beginning of the training week, not the beginning of the training period, not nothing.
Sunday is the end.
It is the culmination of the weeks work, what we look forward to the most, be it the long ride, the big race, the big booze fest afterwards, the end of the too-short weekend.
Monday starts the week. Sometimes it is w/ needed rest, sometimes it's just another day in the week of commute/training (as is the time now). Sometimes it's just Monday.

Hope that clears some things up.
Amen Brother.

Training.....what!!!-revised

2008-02-14T00:54:00.000-05:00

The training week started on Sunday...oops 3.5 hours on the fixie its hip, its cool, its all the rage but I have fun on it and I don't wear Chuck Taylors and do wear a helmet... I ain't no hipster, I ain't no disco....

Training.....what!!!

2008-02-14T00:46:00.000-05:00

Monday: business casual run, some plyometric thingies...1 beer

Tuesday: Ice Storm, no training but I thought about it....3 beers

Wednesday: more Ice storm, worked late, no training and did not think about it...2 beers with cute girl-Bunny would be happy

....more to come

Training.

2008-02-13T18:49:00.001-05:00

Associate Betsy has been buggin' me about updating my blog, so here's an update.
Course I don't even think she knows about this one. It's so new, it's so fresh, it's so-so.

Training schedules, efforts, and maintenance vary from client/associate (they are one and the same), but with each and every step we strive to make sure that the client/associate (here on out known as c/a) are as happy and satisfied as possible. Cause a happy cyclist is a happy racer!

For c/a gunn4r and Betsy, the training is to be as follows for the month of February- Monday through Friday
: commute to and from work; Nars is to return home the extendo route when possible; Bunny is to return home the extendo route; gPS is to meet the good Dr. on her route home when possible; Any NIOSH employees should also supplement the weekly training w/ these programs available at the Wellness Center; Amazing Abs, Boot Camps, and the Lunch Time "hour" rides
Saturday: This is the day that the Fiend hath made for slight resting and spending more time w/ Jackie O.; Hiking, hiking, hiking. Up at Coops. Down to town. Down to Don D.'s saturday evening communal get together (to score food, beer, and mingle)
Sunday: The Sunday Baker's Ridge Ride. Ride there using the approved short-way-there route. Ride hard, have fun, go boonie-biking w/ the others. Drink beer post ride, socialize. Ride home the approved long-way-back route.; Remember to pack extra hat/ear protection, gloves, windbreaker, provisions, beer (the cheap variety).
Evenings: Go for longish hikes/walks w/ doggie across the way. Make sure she doesn't follow the deer too far. Make her run long and far for her sticks. Remember to have her bring one stick home to add to the pile at the front door.

Go. Fight. Spin.

Wow.

2008-02-04T09:32:00.000-05:00

That sure is some awfully pretty background images.
It just looks so... nice.